christasquirrel (christasquirrel) wrote in bad_movies,

Sherlock Holmes (Asylum Style- 2009) (Or Sherlock Holmes vs... the Dinosaurs?)

Dinosaurs.  Sherlock Holmes… and dinosaurs.  I wish I was kidding, but alas, I am not.

When the movie started out with the White House in the middle of World War II London, though, I knew I was in for a real treat.

Truly, Asylum Films has outdone themselves with this one, ducklings.  Forget Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.  To heck with Megapirhana!  Here comes Holmes vs. the Dinosaurs!  Dinosaurs that only leave a single foot print when they run, mind you.

But first it’s a tentacle monster for no apparent reason at the beginning of the film which eats a boat, then this plot line is forgotten for a good hour.  Then comes the dinosaur which goes rampaging about London.  And Holmes totally accepts there is a dinosaur running around London.

A dinosaur which fries your face off.

You read right: the dinosaur fries your face off. And he/she fries your face off without the use of fire.  That is one magical dinosaur, my friends.

I hate to give away the ending (no I don’t) but the Cyber Man would have gotten away with it if not for Sherlock Holmes, Watson, and their dog Scooby… oh, wait, wrong show.  When we get to the ‘Big Reveal’, this movie will just make you go “WHAT?” and then start laughing like crazy (especially if you’re familiar with the Holmes Mythos at all).

Then comes the Metal Dragon and the Hot Air Balloon fight…yes, you read that correctly.

Somewhere, there is an army of Undead Authors planning to destroy us all because of these Asylum Films.  I just know it.

You know what?  I’m taking off a point because the T.A.R.D.I.S. didn’t show up in this movie.

Now, all absurdity aside, this was an interesting film.  Yes, it is way out there, but you can tell the actors knew this movie was bizarre, so they decided to just have fun with it.  This movie is just a wild ride with some actually decent acting in it.  Clearly, whomever wrote this film was trying way too hard to not only distance themselves from the Ritchie film which came out the same year but from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle works as well.  They even changed up some of the character’s names (Robert Sherlock Holmes, anyone?).  This movies is just plain silly.

Four wheels of cheese out of five.
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